I'm having a day filled with 'working mother's guilt'. I try to not let it sneak in, but there are days when it's hard! It all began at 6:00 this morning. I woke the kids up to get them ready for school. Caleb loves getting a bath every morning so I had the water running to fill the tub. I brought him into the bathroom so that he could get his bath. Right away, he said he wasn't feeling very well. I thought maybe he was just tired, so I told him to jump in and he would feel better. I started getting everyone else organized for the day. Caleb got out of the bath, got dressed and layed down on the couch. I went to check on him, and once again, he said he was sick. I felt his head and he didn't have a fever. I knew that work was going to be crazy busy today and didn't have anyone to stay home with him. I just said that once he got to school, he would feel much bettter! As I thought he was just extremely tired, I assumed that once he got to school, and was with his friends, he would be fine. I was out the door by 6:55 to have the kids on the bus and never really thought much more about it. I went to work for the day and was preparing myself for our busy evening ahead. Anna had a basketball game, a soccer game, we had to pick up our international student and Matt had to go out with my brother. With that, dinner had to be made and homework completed. I walked in the door at a quarter to five. Caleb was fast asleep on the couch and he was sooooo sick. Poor boy!!!! I gave him a hug and a kiss. I felt so guilty that I had sent him to school this morning feeling this way. I still had a ton to do tonight so I left Adam at home with Caleb so that I could run Anna to her soccer game. I stayed at soccer with Anna and watched her play. Once the game was over, I rushed home to check on the boys. Caleb was still asleep. I woke him up and gave him a cuddle. I wrapped him in his favourite 'comfy' blanket and sat with him for a while.
While I had a few minutes to reflect on the day, I thought about how much I had missed. I missed staying home with my sick boy, I missed Adam saying a speech and a reading in the speech arts competition at school and getting two sliver medals, I missed Anna playing in her basketball tournament. I hate days when I can't think past the things that made the day hard. As I am trying to focus on the good things that happen on difficult days, I realize that there were many wonderful things about the day. I got to give my kids hugs and kisses today. I got to send them off to school with smiles on their faces. I was able to stand in the rain and cheer my daughter on in her game. I got to come home and listen to my excited son tell me all about his speech arts and how proud he was of himself. I got to snuggle with my sick boy and have some special mom and son time. As a working mom, it can be hard to miss some of these special moments, but I am trying hard to erase the guilt. I go to work each day in order to help the family and support the family. I am a mom first, but sometimes, I have to go to work even though I would love to be doing something with them. I am doing my best to be the best mom I can be!
Wow, Jaime!! You just about described my day too!! I am home today with Jenna, which allowed me the time to read your blog...such parallel lives we lead. Take Care, hope Caleb is feeling better!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoyed reading it!!!! Caleb seems to be doing much better today! How's Jenna feeling!!! Missed you today!
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