I'm having a day filled with 'working mother's guilt'. I try to not let it sneak in, but there are days when it's hard! It all began at 6:00 this morning. I woke the kids up to get them ready for school. Caleb loves getting a bath every morning so I had the water running to fill the tub. I brought him into the bathroom so that he could get his bath. Right away, he said he wasn't feeling very well. I thought maybe he was just tired, so I told him to jump in and he would feel better. I started getting everyone else organized for the day. Caleb got out of the bath, got dressed and layed down on the couch. I went to check on him, and once again, he said he was sick. I felt his head and he didn't have a fever. I knew that work was going to be crazy busy today and didn't have anyone to stay home with him. I just said that once he got to school, he would feel much bettter! As I thought he was just extremely tired, I assumed that once he got to school, and was with his friends, he would be fine. I was out the door by 6:55 to have the kids on the bus and never really thought much more about it. I went to work for the day and was preparing myself for our busy evening ahead. Anna had a basketball game, a soccer game, we had to pick up our international student and Matt had to go out with my brother. With that, dinner had to be made and homework completed. I walked in the door at a quarter to five. Caleb was fast asleep on the couch and he was sooooo sick. Poor boy!!!! I gave him a hug and a kiss. I felt so guilty that I had sent him to school this morning feeling this way. I still had a ton to do tonight so I left Adam at home with Caleb so that I could run Anna to her soccer game. I stayed at soccer with Anna and watched her play. Once the game was over, I rushed home to check on the boys. Caleb was still asleep. I woke him up and gave him a cuddle. I wrapped him in his favourite 'comfy' blanket and sat with him for a while.
While I had a few minutes to reflect on the day, I thought about how much I had missed. I missed staying home with my sick boy, I missed Adam saying a speech and a reading in the speech arts competition at school and getting two sliver medals, I missed Anna playing in her basketball tournament. I hate days when I can't think past the things that made the day hard. As I am trying to focus on the good things that happen on difficult days, I realize that there were many wonderful things about the day. I got to give my kids hugs and kisses today. I got to send them off to school with smiles on their faces. I was able to stand in the rain and cheer my daughter on in her game. I got to come home and listen to my excited son tell me all about his speech arts and how proud he was of himself. I got to snuggle with my sick boy and have some special mom and son time. As a working mom, it can be hard to miss some of these special moments, but I am trying hard to erase the guilt. I go to work each day in order to help the family and support the family. I am a mom first, but sometimes, I have to go to work even though I would love to be doing something with them. I am doing my best to be the best mom I can be!